One time in your life you mastered this powerful word... in fact it was your job and remains the job of every two year old. Saying NO!
Going back to saying "No" establishes a boundary to keep other peoples agenda from interfering with yours. You take back control over what you want to do and when. So many of us already find our lives jammed full of stuff to do, you'd think it would be easy to say no.
Using a system of positive and negative rewards, the two year old learns saying yes is far better than saying no. No often created unpleasant experience and children learn agreeing and people pleasing will make their life much easier.
People pleasers grow up to become easy prey to manipulative people. They know you would rather avoid confrontation and exploit you into saying yes.
No does not mean you don't like the person or equals rejection. No is a credible and laudable response. When you say NO it simply means the current request doesn't work for you right now.
Saying yes when you really want to say no will breed resentment that swells while you perform the task you agreed to do. Stress from this process shows up in many ways"shoulder tension, drained energy, headaches, discomfort, and restless sleep. Avoid these creativity killers by saying no in the first place. Life already creates stress. Why add more to your heavy load?
Saying No in 5 Easy Ways
1. Let The Word No Start Your Sentences
If no is the first word out of your mouth, you will find it easier to follow through and refuse the task.
No I'm sorry, my plate is full right now and I wouldn't do a good job for you.
No, I'm unavailable.
2. Thinking It Over
Maybe the request is something you want or need to do but you need time to make sure it will fit your schedule. Perhaps you're not strong enough to say no right now. Ask for time to think it over. That way you can have time to mentally prepare yourself to say No. Remember, the decision is totally yours.
3. Just Saying No
Go ahead and say it. NO." You are not obligated to give any further explanation. Add "No, thank you," if it fits the situation.
Do cashiers and clerks ask for your phone number or email address while they are ringing out your purchases? If you don't want to tell them, say no.
When a telemarketer disturbs your dinner, say no. Or better yet, let the phone ring unanswered.
Remember the "Just Say No to Drugs" campaign in the 1980s? There were enormous posters in schools, in subways, plastered across billboards, everywhere. Its time to start your own No Campaign. Print color posters on your inkjet printer and paste them where you will see them.
4. Play the Blame Game
People blame each other all the time for their problems. So why take the pressure off yourself and blame somebody for why you must say no.
No, my doctor said I need to start taking it easy (great one to for preserving your personal time).
No, my accountant said if I did that one more time (great for unreasonable customer demands)
One caveat: don't use a name, unless you are giving a direct quote. Keep the "blame" person anonymous.
5. Mimic a Parrot
Remember manipulators like to guilt you into saying yes or wear you down and give into their demands. This is a great technique for them.
Perhaps you encounter this type of conversation:
"No, I can't have coffee with you"
We wont be long. 30 minutes I promise
"No, I can't have coffee with you"
You deserve it. Look how many hours you worked already
"No, I can't have coffee with you"
Come on I'll pay
"No, I can't have coffee with you"
Learning to say "No" naturally takes practice. Start with saying "No" to something everyday. - 15246
Going back to saying "No" establishes a boundary to keep other peoples agenda from interfering with yours. You take back control over what you want to do and when. So many of us already find our lives jammed full of stuff to do, you'd think it would be easy to say no.
Using a system of positive and negative rewards, the two year old learns saying yes is far better than saying no. No often created unpleasant experience and children learn agreeing and people pleasing will make their life much easier.
People pleasers grow up to become easy prey to manipulative people. They know you would rather avoid confrontation and exploit you into saying yes.
No does not mean you don't like the person or equals rejection. No is a credible and laudable response. When you say NO it simply means the current request doesn't work for you right now.
Saying yes when you really want to say no will breed resentment that swells while you perform the task you agreed to do. Stress from this process shows up in many ways"shoulder tension, drained energy, headaches, discomfort, and restless sleep. Avoid these creativity killers by saying no in the first place. Life already creates stress. Why add more to your heavy load?
Saying No in 5 Easy Ways
1. Let The Word No Start Your Sentences
If no is the first word out of your mouth, you will find it easier to follow through and refuse the task.
No I'm sorry, my plate is full right now and I wouldn't do a good job for you.
No, I'm unavailable.
2. Thinking It Over
Maybe the request is something you want or need to do but you need time to make sure it will fit your schedule. Perhaps you're not strong enough to say no right now. Ask for time to think it over. That way you can have time to mentally prepare yourself to say No. Remember, the decision is totally yours.
3. Just Saying No
Go ahead and say it. NO." You are not obligated to give any further explanation. Add "No, thank you," if it fits the situation.
Do cashiers and clerks ask for your phone number or email address while they are ringing out your purchases? If you don't want to tell them, say no.
When a telemarketer disturbs your dinner, say no. Or better yet, let the phone ring unanswered.
Remember the "Just Say No to Drugs" campaign in the 1980s? There were enormous posters in schools, in subways, plastered across billboards, everywhere. Its time to start your own No Campaign. Print color posters on your inkjet printer and paste them where you will see them.
4. Play the Blame Game
People blame each other all the time for their problems. So why take the pressure off yourself and blame somebody for why you must say no.
No, my doctor said I need to start taking it easy (great one to for preserving your personal time).
No, my accountant said if I did that one more time (great for unreasonable customer demands)
One caveat: don't use a name, unless you are giving a direct quote. Keep the "blame" person anonymous.
5. Mimic a Parrot
Remember manipulators like to guilt you into saying yes or wear you down and give into their demands. This is a great technique for them.
Perhaps you encounter this type of conversation:
"No, I can't have coffee with you"
We wont be long. 30 minutes I promise
"No, I can't have coffee with you"
You deserve it. Look how many hours you worked already
"No, I can't have coffee with you"
Come on I'll pay
"No, I can't have coffee with you"
Learning to say "No" naturally takes practice. Start with saying "No" to something everyday. - 15246
About the Author:
Author, Ann Rusnak - The Time Diva - advises frustrated entrepreneurs how to Get More Done in Half the Time. Sign up for her free 4 part Time Management video series "Control Your Day in 15 Minutes
